Saturday Night TV

This Short Humor piece of mine originally appeared in Woman’s World Magazine, and I have updated it. Hope you like this read free online short humor…

There’s a conspiracy in the works. It’s a sinister plot created by those people who make up the program schedules for Saturday night television. I have spent a weekend or two in front of the mindless eye, and I’m now convinced programming providers are trying to bring husbands and wives closer, to get them talking again.

Last Saturday night, one channel had a made for TV movie scheduled. The TV listing said, “Ishmael comes to rescue  Todd and Christy when they are kidnapped by a neighborhood drug king pin while searching for an answer to the rabid squirrel problem in Baton Rouge. (Repeat).”

In the same time slot were re-runs of Swamp Detailers, and it turned out if we watched an old police procedural drama we could see how “Rory, Cal and Captain Lopez team up to hunt down escaped death-row inmate Wilton Ray Dalton, who has stolen evidence against JJ.”

The major programs left were the last half hour of a documentary on Women Who Cook Found Food and a rock concert. Due to teenager pressure, we had dutifully sat through the antics of Eddie Leadpoison and Spleen once, and I liked some of the melodies that rose from the substantial overbite of the lead singer’s mouth, but not all of them.

My husband is not so cordial. After one quick look, he snapped, “A man that age can’t get away with prancing in red plastic pants.”

“Well, what do you want to watch?” I asked.

He shrugged wearily.

“How about we talk?”

“Talk?” He seemed to wake up a little.

“Tell me,” I pressed on, “Why do you feel men our age shouldn’t be seen wearing spandex?”

“Not all men,” he said thoughtfully. “It wouldn’t bother me if Leadpoison didn’t have such big teeth.”

I didn’t see the connection, but it didn’t matter. He was opening up. We were communicating again.